You will always be remembered Hanan, as the one who spoke her mind in complete honesty, without censorship and withholding no fears. But it was these same fears that consistently interrupted her life. Fears many of us share; of not being accepted, the fear of being alone, the fear brought on by our self image, the fear of what they will think, and the fear of not being loved. Nevertheless, she managed to smile and not take life too seriously. She had a great smile and beautiful eyes. Those eyes that sparkled with love when she felt love and those same eyes that couldn’t hide the sadness when she was down.
Hanan was born in the wrong time and in the wrong society. A mind not easily understood and an easy target for those not willing to listen. She had so much to say about life, and she delivered even with the difficulty she had in expressing herself. She often used music to express her thoughts, and Hanan was always up to date on her music. I remember her getting excited when she discovered an artist or a song that she loved. She would send them to me every now and then, and only later did I realize that much of it was her conveying her thoughts to the beats and words of others. I loved it when she got excited. Her whole body would light up. But she was also a stubborn girl. If Hanan desired anything, she would find a way to get it no matter what the circumstances. She could have been anything or anyone she wanted to be, but life had other plans and with its many distractions Hanan was easily distracted. She was one of those hyper sensitive people who can feel things really deeply and heavily. More so than the ordinary person. This was evident in her sense of empathy, and Hanan always encountered and related to people who life treated unfairly.
Hanan had a great sense of humor, and I remember her memorizing the lines of all the old Kuwaiti plays from “Mahthotha and Mabrooka” to “Bye Bye Landan”. We laughed, those laughs. She loved hosting people and getting people together. She loved giving those she cared about gifts. Thoughtful gifts. She thrived on friendships and we all have special individual memories of her friendship . She left an impression on anyone who knew her or encountered her whatever the circumstance. But unfortunately, she was alone most of the time, as she had to go away to find herself and that kept her away from her family and friends. Hanan passed away alone but in peace, closing her eyes to go to sleep never to wake up again. What a peaceful ending to a life filled with its ups and downs, its trouble and its laughter.
I love you Hanan, you have been part of my life and I have learned so much from you. We had fun together, the best time of my life actually, when we were young and free and rebellious. We had a lot in common. We used to run together, listen to music and scream from the top of our lungs the lyrics that changed our lives. We traveled the world, sharing our views on life, religion and philosophy in endless conversations. You had so much depth but you didn’t have the chance to share it all. I know that all you ever wanted was to love all the people you loved and freeze their attention with yours. Well know that you did, and it was too late for all of us.
I wish you were here to experience this turbulent life with us but I am also content that you died in peace and left us with great memories.
Here are some of the moments we shared together in life:
THE GENERALIST 