Books: What Do Women Want? – Daniel Bergner

Upon Stephen Hawking turning 70, he had this to say about women: “They are a complete mystery to me.”  With no answers coming from Mr. Hawking, what can be interpreted from the many studies on women conducted over the years, and to increase the degree of difficulty, specifically relating to the female sexual desire. We know that men have their own ‘desire pill,’ Viagra, as a physical and psychological aid to the gentleman’s libido.  Women have no such pill.  It is not because women are less sexual to warrant a boost in their desire for lust, but instead the reason may lie in the fact that women’s desire has been under-researched and overlooked.  This book is a compilation of the efforts made to better understand female desire.  Meredith Chivers looked to remedy this, and was one of the first women to study the female sexual desire, shedding light on this controversial ‘non-scientific’ topic back in the 90’s. Her experiments showed very interesting results, and techniques used to measure the arousal level for heterosexual women was by showing them images of straight sex, gay sex, lesbian sex and monkey sex and gauging and recording the resulting impulses. Interestingly enough, heterosexual women were aroused by all the above, unlike the rest of their counterparts; i.e. heterosexual men, and homosexual men and women. Her work is mentioned regularly in this book, along with others who paid particular interest in this field.  Marta Meana was another who presented an interesting theory regarding the female desire, and it was with the narcism approach.  Women want to feel wanted, and “being desired is the real orgasm.” The book touches on monogamy, providing case studies arguing that humans are not necesarily monogamous by nature and that this is a myth, compounded by years of social and cultural pressure. One of the myths is that women are more monogamous than men, but that as well may not carry too much truth in it either.  There are in effect many arguments that may change the way we look at the female desire, or better yet, change the perception of it.  I, for example, think a breakdown between a man and woman in a relationship comes from women losing their desire and not necesarily just the men.  I would say ‘if only,’ women have the freedom to express their sexuality and avoid the trap of strictly pleasing the men, by putting an end to the discrepancy between the male and female sexual desire, we might all just relax a bit and live in less sexually frustrated societies.  This book makes you wonder with all the education it provides, and I myself as a woman ask, what do we really want?  Hope you are listening Mr. Hawking.

This is a discussion between the author, Daniel Bergner and other sexologists regarding the female desire, if you feel you want to have more information